Our lives are a bunch of stories, sometimes inter-twining and inter-crossing places, people and events; sometimes real, sometimes imaginary. We all like to see ourselves as the protagonist of the stories we live. Given a choice, we would like to play the hero in all stories too. However, inevitably, one may find oneself in a story where one may simply be a villain! Yes, the bad guy!
My life has been no different. Most of the time I have taken up roles like the caring son, loving husband, dear father, star employee, responsible citizen and so on. But recently, I was offered for the first time, the lead villain’s role in one of the family stories. One of the weaknesses in my character provided an excellent opportunity to bring a new twist to the story. I had expressed anger, saying things I could have lived without saying. The anger was misdirected and I also admitted to it. Apologised too. But the story had its own demands. It was in need of a character or a place where one could connect several small stories, that could be re-told with some drama, in such a way that new heroes emerge and their hurt redressed. It was a tough call for me. Was I to fight back, defending my place of goodness? How could I, the protagonist of my life’s story, be seen as a villain in any story!
But when I saw the big picture, it all started to make sense. A villain was indeed needed to support the story and give meaning to the life of the emerging heroes. So, I finally obliged. I’m the bad guy now – not because I am an immoral or criminal or an evil person. The fact that you may have motives that are either self-centred or simply different from others is enough reason to make you an object of hatred.
Sometimes, we have to look at the big picture to see which role is the right one for us to play. You simply need to see whether in the larger scheme of things more people benefit from you playing the bad guy or not. Like love, hatred unites too. Maybe more people will come closer together, some relationships strengthen, some people grow more accountable, some more responsible if they have a common person to hate – see that big picture? That’s what I did and I believe I could see some value in playing the bad guy.
All of life is role-playing and it’s made up of thousands of stories. Some stories need the bad guy and it is totally fine to be the bad guy. It is fine to be that hook on which some people can hang their blames, complaints and worries and feel relieved of their weight for some moments.
You’re fine. It is all right.
An Indian Father’s Parenting & Spiritual Journey 