Apurnatvam

Apurnatvam, it gnaws at our souls

The feeling of incompleteness

Constant seeking of the other

Things, Power, Status, Wealth, Love

No end to this quest, eternal

In old age, at the doorstep of death

The mind ceaselessly seeks

Like hungry living ghosts

Still dependent , at another’s mercy

This life is ephemeral

This body a gift, not to own

Not an end, but a means

For noble deeds, for knowledge and

A means to Purnatvam, to Moksha

To become whole again.

I wrote this to remind myself that our whole endeavour in this lifetime is about trying to complete ourselves. This feeling that I am incomplete and I need something other than myself to complete me, is at the foundation of our lives, economy and aspirations. Everything we wish to possess, own and experience has its origin in this yearning. I acknowledge fully the power of this feeling and how it propels in making progress, towards setting and achieving higher and higher goals, better our standard of living and give a life of options and luxuries for our loved ones. I also understand that without this ‘seeking’ attitude life would almost be impossible.

At the same time, I would also like to remind myself that this seeking is essentially spiritual and our ultimate goal is to become complete again, become whole again, to be at peace with oneself.That destination, that we call Moksha or becoming a Jivanmukta (Sanskrit), is the grandest aspiration and goal one can have and one should eventually grow to have. Finding a mind of contentment, free of anxiety and emotional independence and so on are only some of the milestones on this grand journey. This destination is very much within our reach. Let it be the northstar.

Be a great student, son/daughter, husband/wife, professional, leader, a great human being, traveller, adventurer and also a great grandparent; don as many roles as you are inspired to but all along remember why we embarked on this journey in the first place- to feel complete, to become whole. If even at old age if we don’t realise this purpose, it will be a pity. To die without knowing what would complete you has been within you all along would be a pity.

My only message here is that you do not neglect and brush aside your spiritual side. Nourish it, pray that you become this whole again, and surely a path, your path, will light up and show you the way.

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